Guilt and The artist

I feel so guilty sometime for being an artist as if the insecurity of the future, the doubts that gnaw away at yr ideas..the constant judgement..as if we know what should be good art and bad art from our own perspective..is it a puritan ethic that makes us feel this way..from the fact that life should be a misery and its a cross to bear than a a season to be enjoyed? ...is it justified if you are corporate person..why they don't say you are so lucky to be a Banker..but why are these connotations attached to art?..sometimes I am so tempted to go back to something that doesn't eat at my soul as much as being an artist..the constant guilt ..that one should..be able to create..and then the visions associated of the poor starving loony artist..I don't know if that is a positive Image..

I meet a lot of creative people and I find them pretty much organized and focused..so Are these historical associations still relevant..or its a myth that serves to preserve the mystery and awe that is generated between artists and the common man..??

Why cant artists be treated with a less patronising tone.." Its so amazing that you have the freedom to be an artist" does it evoke a resentment of sorts that they were not true to their dreams or the fears and insecurity that were too difficult to bear?? Am I the only way that feels like this..or does every one go through this...I am sorry for rambling..Is it that I should not really question these things..and try and understand my own reasons..I would love some feedback..

"I feel guilty when I'm not painting and ... also... because I'm doing something that I love. I think a lot of it has to do with how we were brought up too. I think that for a lot of us, our parents didn't encourage art as a profession but only as a hobby ... it was the mentality then ...it's something that we have to overcome. I just wonder how many really talented people never get to realize their dreams because of this attitude and end up living miserably. It's very sad. I'm glad that creativity is encouraged in our schools today and that we have learned, as parents to nurture self-esteem in our children. I'm also glad that we have found something that we love in our lifetime. Just the other day an elderly woman who I was talking to about my art told me that her son had always wanted to paint when he was young (he's dead at 40 from a drug overdose) and that she told him that he couldn't do that and that he had to get a real job. Maybe that's why he had such an unhappy life and an early death This lady is in her late seventies and when I showed her my art ...she said to me. 'That's nice but you can't make a living doing that.' At that moment, I felt what her son must have felt when he told her that's what he wanted to do with his life many years ago. She didn't see anything wrong with her statement. She was just saying what she thought to be true. Luckily, I was able to shake it off because I know darned well that if you work really hard, you can make it happen."-- Ruthie